Raccoons are curious but clever animals, known for their ability to get a free meal from the nearest trash can. Because of this, they are commonly referred to as “trash pandas”, but when people start to keep the trash can in the garage instead of putting it out overnight for the garbage men to collect the next day, the raccoons must think up a new strategy, and often manage to get it to work, usually at the expense of their local human residents. This is the story of a local raccoon family, and their whisperer from the year 1986.
“Children! Come along now! We’re going to the local diner for supper!” Hoppy Raccoon called to her six young ones: Henry, Jasper, Bart, Sylvia, Tracy and Babs. As adorable as they were, the children preferred to romp in the grass below the lilac tree, occasionally digging for grubs. “Jasper! Bart! Sylvia! Babs! Tracy! Henry! Hurry now!” All six tiny raccoons finally looked up at their mother, obeying her as she had the prime seating on the top step by a white-framed screen door. Within seconds the screen door opened a few inches, and a bunch of torn up bread was tossed out to them. Being the smallest of the six young raccoons, Bart darted up the steps to the brick patio faster than ever before, picked up a piece of bread with his front paws, and started munching. His five siblings simply shook their heads at him, knowing full well that all food discovered by any self-respecting raccoon was to be washed well in water before eating. Sylvia smirked then tutted.
“Bart, you know full well this lady puts out a scrubbed pan full of clean water for us every night. You clearly do not appreciate their hard work.” Sylvia’s comment went ignored by Bart as his front paws gently tugged at the box of crackers being held by the woman of the house. Bart’s soulful eyes looked into the young woman’s fair complexion and green eyes, her face framed with long blonde hair. She looks like she is in her twenties, Bart thought to himself.
“These are for you, little bandido.” The woman tossed the last of the buttery tasting crackers out the door and Bart savored the last of them.
“Why you little crook,” Babs started, “you didn’t save any crackers for us! Her tiny pointed ears moved back as her nose twitched. “Now we’ll have to wait for more crackers.” The door opened again, and more butter-flavored crackers were thrown out the door onto the patio. Babs scrambled for a share, as did Henry, Tracy, Jasper and Sylvia. They all sat back on their haunches, holding crackers in their black paws and dipped them in the water before they started to munch away.
Hoppy looked at her babies fondly. They all had excellent eating manners for raccoons and knew how to silently thank the women who fed them using their eyes. Before the family of seven finished up the crackers, the patio door opened once again, this time, with chunks of bread, dry oat cereal, and tortilla chips being distributed in different spots of the patio.
“Oh good,” sighed Hoppy with relief, “I thought that was all they had. My babies are hungry, even the most delicious of crackers would not satisfy them…” Hoppy limped over to a chunk of bread and started to nibble it. “Hamburger rolls!” she exclaimed to her children. Naturally the six babies waddled over to the rolls, moistened them with water and gulped them down. Henry gulped too fast and let out a tiny burp. Laughter from behind the door ensued. The woman who was feeding the raccoons heard one of the small raccoons burp and could not help but laugh.
“’Scuse me”, Henry replied to his siblings and mother Hoppy, who made a chattering noise in return, which in raccoon language was a giggle. Hoppy looked at Henry before looking at the door and watched the woman continue laughing. Hoppy broke her smile before continuing with the meal.
“Speaking of crackers,” began Jasper, do you guys remember when that lady gave us a box of crackers last week? What were they? They were not the butter crackers we love.” Jasper laid back and chilled for a minute before walking over to the water pan for a drink.
Sylvia cocked her head to one side and thought. “I am not sure, but I saw the box they came from – it looked like pictures of vegetables were on the front.”
“Yes, those were vegetable flavored crackers. A little heavy on the pepper, but I like the tomato taste they had.” Hoppy was very efficient at describing the different flavors to her babies, and she wanted them to experience as many food flavors as possible.
“Hm, yes, the tomato component was tasty. I hope we get more corn flavored foods soon. Where do we go to put in an order?” Jasper was curious as to how the women who fed them knew what to give them.
“Hush! Jasper, really!” Hoppy sounded exaggerated. “I am sure the kind lady who feeds us knows what types of foods we eat. Otherwise we would not be eating these delicious goodies.”
“Whoa, I’m packed. Think I’ll lean against this cement step for awhile”. Henry leaned back comfortably.
The other raccoons looked at Henry, who started to nod off. Quickly they finished eating, before Hoppy gave them the sign to head home. Even though they are nocturnal animals, the babies still needed some sleep. “Children! Time for bed! Someone wake up Henry.” Babs was closest to Henry, and she quietly dug her right front paw into his back. Henry awoke with a start and a hiss. “Let’s go, everyone!” Hoppy led the way down the cement patio stairs and into the woods where one by one, the raccoons climbed up a tree where their den was. Unknown to them all, the woman who fed them, sat in a chair by the bay window in the family room and witnessed their return home, as the full moon enveloped the oak tree that Hoppy called home.
“Goodnight sweet raccoons,” the young woman with the long blond hair whispered. Her brindled cat Molly sat in her lap, greeting the moonlit night full of raccoon whispering.
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